Don't Waste Your Time Being A Christian

I found this article written by Frank Viola and thought it was well worth sharing.

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I wasted my time being a high school student.

I skipped classes, did the least amount of work required to skirt by, quit baseball my junior year, earned a Ph.D. in passing notes during lectures, and was never able to muster the courage to befriend the girl that I had a two-year crush on.

(Incidentally, I was a pitcher for my high school baseball team. And like many other young dudes, my dream was to play in the Majors. So when I saw this guy on TV for the first time, my first reaction was to pinch myself.)

Anyways, when the day came when many of my classmates were being rewarded with full-ride scholarships, I was crestfallen.

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I had wasted my time as a high school student.

Well, dear Christian, you can do the same with your walk with the Lord.

You can waste your time as a Christian.

Paul exhorts us to “redeem the time because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:16)

Make no mistake: It takes time to know the Lord. It takes time to learn to live before Him. It takes time to grow in His life. And you can easily waste that time.

In fact, there are specific things that you can do (or neglect) that will throttle your spiritual life.

Namely...

10 Ways in Which You Can Waste Your Time Being a Christian:

1. Allow yourself to be bitter against someone who has hurt you.

Bitterness will destroy your spiritual life and take others down with you (Hebrews 12:15).

2. Use your time, your money, and your resources only for yourself and your needs.

In other words, live life for yourself (and your immediate family) rather than for others.

3. Spend little to no time with the Lord in solitude – just you and Him alone.

Fill your life with all sorts of other activities. Stay busy.

4. Neglect reading the Scriptures.

They reveal Christ and contain God’s life (John 5:39; 6:63; 2 Timothy 3:16). They are food for your spirit. To neglect them is to starve your spirit.

Bottom of Form

5. Defame others or misrepresent them or their work (especially fellow believers).

Don’t go to them directly if you have a concern or problem and ask them for clarity. (And if you do go to them, don’t listen to what they have to say.) Be not deceived: To speak ill about or misrepresent another follower of Jesus is to speak ill about or misrepresent Jesus Himself. And He doesn’t take it kindly (Matthew 25:40; Acts 9:1-4; Titus 3:2).

6. Rarely (or never) read books with spiritual depth

...or listen to Christ-centered messages by other servants of God. Forget the contribution of the body of Christ, past and present. Throw out spiritual education. Live under the delusion that all you need is the Holy Spirit and your Bible. (If you want to tune-up in this area, I recommend all the books in the “Spiritual Growth” shelf on this list.)

7. Have no fellowship or relationship with other believers.

Live as a solo Christian. Use the excuse that you can’t find any other Christians who love Jesus like you do.

8. Let envy and jealousy take hold of your heart and drive your actions.

Envy and jealousy is often the root behind slander. Incidentally, countless Christians don’t know what slander looks like and fail to recognize it when it’s right in front of them. So be sure to read this article so you know how to recognize it. Engaging in or listening to slander proves toxic to your spiritual life.

9. Never learn from your mistakes nor take responsibility for them.

Blame others instead. And never apologize to the people you’ve wronged.

10. Waste every crisis that comes into your life.

A crisis is a difficult and unwelcome opportunity to discover Jesus Christ in a new way. Don’t look for the hand of God behind the crisis and submit to it. Forget James and Peter who both said, “Humble yourself under God’s mighty hand, and He will exalt you.” (1 Peter 5:7; James 4:10) Blame God instead.

The above is in no particular order. And many other points can be added to the list. But each of these is a sure-fire way to hamper your growth in Christ and waste your time being a follower of Jesus.

In addition, I’d give this list to all new Christians as elements to begin focusing their lives upon (only I’d reword them to make them positives).

2 Most Common Questions A Visitor Asks

If a first-time visitor to your church has to ask more than one question, you’ve probably lost them for good.

Here’s why.

We live in America. American’s by nature shop. Shoppers not only shop, they compare. Not only do they compare, they keep score. When Americans (your outreach target) walk into a store, restaurant, movie, doctors office, or church, they are keeping score.

Shopping, comparing, and keeping score is not just a part of our American culture, it’s who we are.

Unanswered Questions Push Visitors Away

When a first time visitor can’t figure something out on their own, they are forced to go ask a question. The reason this is such a big deal is Americans expect their questions to be answered for them. In their Monday-Saturday cultural norm, most questions are answered before they have to ask. So when they have to ask a question at your church on Sunday, they get frustrated (the opposite of a positive first impression). That one frustration generates a negative mark on their shoppers score card and once your visitor gets a few of those, they won’t return to your church ever again.

Questions Church Visitors Expect To Be Answered For Them

• (Arrival) What door do we go in? (if it’s not totally obvious they will not know).
• Where do my kids go? (the #1 question asked by parents immediately upon entering your church building).
• Where is the bathroom? (the #2 question asked upon entering the building after three cups of coffee).
• Are there Sunday School classes or small groups for us to attend?
• What is the title of the Sunday school or small group class? Who is the teacher? Where are they located in the building? Do you have a handout with info and a map to the classroom?
• How do I get involved? What are my next steps? How do I become a member? Can I join today? (questions a ”I finally found my new church home!” visitor asks).
• How do I give? What are my giving options? Can I give cash? Check? On the Web? How do I get a receipt for my donation? (*Many churches encourage first-time visitors not to give but I believe they should be left alone to make that decision because visitors often want to feel part of the church, and giving creates a bond/ownership which increases the chance that they will return.
• What is the website address for the church? Do you have a Facebook page? Twitter page? Can I use YouVersion or other Bible apps in the worship service and small group? (*2 out of 10 people now use Bible apps on their smart phones instead of a printed Bible -and that number continues to grow; If you still don’t understand the value of correctly using social media to do ministry and grow your church, let’s talk).

The information about your church that you already know is not always obvious to new visitors. That’s why it’s important to take some time to evaluate what questions are not being answered for your visitors. An easy way to do this is to follow up with those that visit and ask them if they had to ask any questions or if anything was not obvious during their visit.

Take some time and evaluate the questions visitors ask, and you just may see greater growth this year!

Becoming More Appealing to Guests to the Church

Ten Things Church Visitors Are Looking For

There is a danger in being overly sensitive to what people think of your church. The church is to follow the Bible’s teaching, regardless of what people think. At the same time, it is important to understand how people are feeling, thinking, and seeking as they attend a new church. It can help to get inside the head of a visitor and realize what they’re looking for.

1. Warmth. This has nothing to do with your thermostat setting. Church attitude can be felt, and if a newcomer experiences a detached or clique-like atmosphere, they are not likely to stay long.
2. Welcome. Closely related is the idea of receptivity. A person wants to feel welcome. The church ought to be a place where people will be welcomed, regardless of they way they look, smell, or act. This can be difficult for some churches to achieve, especially if that church is characterized by uniformity of race or socioeconomic level. Being welcome to all people may be hard, but it is extremely important.
3. Real people. Some churches can foster a spirit of artificiality. Somehow, people act differently at church, putting on a veneer of spirituality. People can see right through this, and visitors can sense the inauthenticity. Being artificial implicitly encourages others around you to be artificial in turn, creating an entire atmosphere of plastic people and shallow relationships.
4. Substantial teaching. Most likely, the bulk of a visitor’s time will be spent listening to the preacher. Is the preaching clear? Does it connect with people where they are? Does it faithfully reflect what Scripture teaches? The last thing you want to hear a visitor mutter on the way out is, “I had no idea what that guy was talking about.”
5. Whole-person care. Churches are rightly concerned with people’s spiritual lives, but this should not mean the neglect of other facets of care and responsibility. Scripture is replete with references to the church caring for the physical needs of others. It is important that visitors are aware that the church is not simply a weekly spiritual recharge, but is a caring community of people eager to help in whatever ways are possible.
6. Ministry and outreach. The introchurch is a problem. People often leave churches if they sense that the church is not actively seeking to make a difference in the community. It is easy to allow the church to become focused on its own needs, concerns, and preoccupations, but this is something that is neither Scriptural nor inviting to “outsiders.”
7. Involvement. Does your church afford an opportunity for people to be involved? Many people visit churches, not because they are looking for a place to melt into anonymity, but because they are looking for a place to connect, to use their gifts, and to develop a ministry.
8. Growth and vibrancy. A church doesn’t have to be big to be appealing to a visitor. What is important is a sense of purpose, action, and life. Few people, if anyone, are looking for a church characterized by sleepy inactivity. A truly welcoming church is a church that puts off an atmosphere of life and energy.
9. Leadership integrity. Like it or not, churches can be places of abuse—spiritual abuse, which leaves long-term scars and lasting damage. Perhaps one of the most important factors for newcomers is the sense of integrity that they sense from the leadership. They may wonder, “Is this person honest? Will they be willing to meet with me for counseling? Will they be cruel or heartless in the way that they respond to my sin problem?” The integrity of a church leadership is felt, not expressed, and usually, it’s hard to fake it.
10. Adjustment period. Generally speaking, visitors don’t want to draw attention to themselves. Take a hint. Don’t draw attention to them, either. I’ve been to churches where the visitor stands while everyone else sings a song (bad idea). Another church I visited, all visitors were given a rose sticker and asked to wear it after the service (also a bad idea). Some visitors may love these gimmicks, but for the most part, visitors would prefer to watch, to observe, to sit back and take it in, at least at first. Let them do so. A visitor packet or a word of welcome or something may be appropriate, but try not to be too obvious about out who the first-timers are. Give them some space.

Having a church that is open to visitors isn’t simply a matter of having nice-looking facilities and greeters with smiles. It’s about so much more. A truly welcoming church is a church that is characterized by genuine, growing, Christians seeking to minister to others. This kind of attitude should pervade every aspect of ministry, including the testimony and life of the leadership. Rather than becoming obsessed with the color of the bricks or the quality of the church signage, pay attention to your own heart. People come to churches because of people—people who are growing and loving.

This Is Too Important For Us To Miss It!

Why Abstinence Isn’t Working in America

February 16, 2012

by: Guy Chmieleski

  

 

The call to young Christians to be abstinent until marriage is not working.
Why do I say that?
The September/October 2011 issue of Relevant Magazine, in an article entitled (Almost) Everyone's Doing It, starts with the following revelation:

Eighty percent of young, unmarried Christians have had sex. Two-thirds have been sexually active in the past year. Even though, according to a recent Gallup poll, 76% of Evangelicals believe sex outside of marriage is morally wrong. 

80% of young, unmarried Christians have had sex... Wow! 66% of them have been sexually active in the past year.  And yet three-quarters of Evangelical Christians believe this is wrong.
More evidence…
In January of 2011 I wrote a post on my blog entitled, "Is sex before marriage really a sin?" I did this because I had increasingly been asked by "committed Christians" whether or not this was true -- and where it said so in the Bible. I figured that other campus ministers, pastors, parents, professors, etc. (the primary target of my blog) were likely experiencing something similar.
To my surprise, this post blew up and became the most viewed post on my blog for 2011. In fact, some version of "is sex before marriage a sin" or "is sex before marriage really a sin" shows up in the "key words" search of my google analytics (it's a blog stat tracker -- sorry for the nerdy blog lingo) multiple times everyday. Everyday! And I'm quite certain that it's not a bunch of non-Christians out there googling these words in an attempt to find justification for their sexually-free lifestyle. No. It's Christians who are single and either having sex, or really wanting to have sex, who are looking for justification... OR it's someone who cares about them and is trying to find something definitive to read, study and point their sexually-active loved one towards.
And wish as I may, I just don't think it's that easy. I don't think a good article, or a few key verses, or even an air-tight argument riddled with stats that point to the harmful effects -- emotionally, mentally, socially, spiritually -- of engaging in sexual relations before marriage are going to be enough to discourage a sexually-charged young couple from continuing on in their activity.
I think it's bigger than that.
In fact, I know it is.
A big part of the problem with abstinence is that it's only half of the picture. Christian pastors and parents are telling their kids to abstain from having sex (making it sound bad, or even evil), or to wait on sex until they are married (not considering that some --many -- won't ever get married... or will have to wait for a long time before they say “I do”), and they're not giving them any suggestions about how to deal with all of the natural urges and inclinations their young bodies are constantly bombarding them with.
This is why I like the idea of celibacy over abstinence. Celibacy includes the premise of abstinence -- in that you need to hold off on sexual activity until marriage (should that happen for them... someday) -- but it adds to it the bigger, more inclusive notion that for now (and for always) we can delight ourselves in God. We abstain from sexual activity and redirect those energies towards our pursuit of Jesus.
In many ways it's similar to the differences between fasting and starving yourself. In both instances you’re not eating. And that's where it ends with starving yourself. But what makes fasting different is that it includes a very intentional redirection of our energies and attention – towards God. All of the time and focus that we might normally spend on food -- thinking about it, preparing it, consuming it, cleaning up after it... and then repeating that cycle over and over throughout the day -- is instead spent focused on the Lord. We choose to feed our bodily hunger with the Bread of Life and Living Water. It's not just abstaining from something, but it's also involves intentionally consuming something in its place.
And this leads us to the root of the issue of sexual promiscuity among young Christians (not to mention countless other issues they’re dealing with)... a lack of discipleship. Our young Christians don't know about celibacy, or how to practice it, because far too many of them are not engaged in a life of discipleship. And this is likely linked to what they're seeing modeled for them in their home. Whether it’s an oppressive form of Christianity, or a more cultural one, many of our young people are coming from homes (and dare I say... churches) that don't model a life of discipleship for them.
The invitation of Christ is not "’Like Me’ on Facebook and I'll bring you to heaven some day” (and I'll make your life as easy as possible between now and then... and if experience any hardship or pain, it's probably my fault -- so go ahead and blame me), but to come and die (to thy self). The spiritual disciplines of prayer, meditation, fasting and service are some of the pathways that God has created for us to actively pursue God while positioning ourselves for spiritual growth and maturation. And I believe our young Christians need to be introduced to the spiritual discipline of celibacy as a choice that will help them to make sense of, and better channel, their sexual urges now – and will help to produce a crop of healthy relations -- with God and with others in the future.

Guy Chmieleski is the University Minister at Belmont University in Nashville, TN, where he lives with his wife and four small children. He blogs regularly at faithoncampus.com and you can follow him on twitter at @guychmieleski.

Six Questions

6 Questions From Newcomers

Charles Arn 01/25/2012

©iStockphoto.com/Professor25

The critical questions newcomers are asking about your church
Of all the people who drop out of church, our studies indicate that a whopping 82 percent leave in their first year. Like a new baby entering the world, that first year is critical to the survival of the new believer and new member.

Further study indicates that people do not leave at random times throughout that first year. Rather, we see two definite “spikes” at which time an inordinate number of newcomers simply stop coming. We interviewed 36 people who had stopped attending after six months, then another 36 who had stopped attending after a year. “What happened?” we asked. “Could you tell us your story?”

As they talked, we listened for common themes and discovered certain questions newcomers are asking in the first 12 months of their church involvement. Often, they are not even aware of their actual concerns. But in these “post-mortem” conversations, the issues became readily apparent.

The First Six Months
1. “Can I make friends in this church?” This is a question of belonging. Other studies tell us that newcomers who stay make an average of seven new friends in the church during the first six months; those who drop out make less than two. While it’s true that the first impressions of being a “friendly church” have much to do with a first-time visitor returning, the question has now changed from “Are they friendly?” to “Can I make friends?” I’m impressed that the “friendship factor”—more than any other ingredient in the connections and retention mix—is key. To put it simply: Those who make friends, stay; those who don’t, don’t.
2. “Is there a place I can fit in?” This is a question of acceptance. Churches with a variety of affinity groups (common interests, age, gender, marital and family status, concerns, needs, dreams) have a much higher retention rate than churches without such “entry paths.” And the more characteristics group members share in common, the better the fit and stronger the glue that will keep them connected.
3. “Does this church really want me?” This is a question of personal value. After the initial words of welcome, are these newcomers actively invited to participate in the roles and ministries of the church? Is their opinion sought on policy and vision decisions? Unfortunately, churches have a tendency to go on with business as usual and ignore the creative ideas and new energy bubbling just under the surface in newcomers.


If the answers are, “Yes, I have made some friends in this church,” and “Yes, there is a group I’m feeling comfortable in,” and “Yes, these people really do seem to be glad I’m here,” then newcomers generally stay. If, after five to six months, their answers are “No,” they often decide there are other things they could be doing.
If their answers are “Yes,” however, newcomers are still asking questions. The jury is still out.


The Second Six Months
1. “Are my new friends as good as my old ones?” The issue is now not so much quantity of friends as quality of friends. New believers, in particular, feel more and more uncomfortable with their old behaviors, old habits and old friends. That’s good. But they are also unconsciously assessing the value and depth of their new relationships in the church.
2. “Does the group meet my needs?” They may have found a young singles group, a senior adult class or a home Bible study of people like them (see the First Six Months questions above). But seven to 12 months later, they’re now asking whether the benefit of involvement is worth the cost of time, inconvenience and social discomfort in this new setting.
3. “Is my contribution important?” The question now is not one of involvement, but of significance. Are they doing busy work or kingdom work? “I wanted to help change people’s lives,” one person told us. “But all they asked me to do was set up chairs for the all-church dinner.” People want to connect with something that matters. The hope of many newcomers is that they can find that through the church. It takes them less than a year to decide.


What experience are people having in that first critical year at your church? Are they finding acceptance, community and significance? What could you do to come alongside them as they ask these questions?

Addressing Those Outside the Church

Far too often, we who know Christ and are a part of the church, are asking all the wrong questions when trying to make our church appealing to the unsaved and unchurched. We need to begin thinking what an unsaved and unchurched person would think when trying to find the niche for our local church that would make such a person come into our doors and try our church. They are not interested (or even aware) of the petty things that we think of. The world wants to know, "why should I come to your church?"  Believe me, an unsaved person does not care about your prayer meeting, if you have dance or flag worship, do you have youth camp, or any other of the things we ask. We are selfish. We want things for us... for our benefit and that tickle our fancy; rather than what is appealing to the person who knows little or nothing about God or the church. It is time to rethink our approach to church if we want to attract the unsaved, rather than lure sheep from another fold!

The following list was written by Perry Noble and is a good place to begin our thought process of "re-thinking" the church.

 

Sometimes we spend too much time asking—and answering—the wrong questions. In this post Perry Noble helps us get back into the shoes of the unchurched. Here are ten things unchurched people are probably not asking about your church:

1. “What do you do to disciple people?”  (This question is usually asked by people who want to “microwave” spiritually, not understand that they themselves actually became mature in the “crock pot.”)

2. “Who is speaking this weekend?”  (They usually don’t care about the WHO…it’s the WHAT that matters to them.)

3. “Are you reformed in your theology?”  (Most of them have no idea what in the heck this means!)

4. “Is your church spirit-filled?”

5. “What version of the Bible do you use?”  (Many unchurched people don’t even really know there are different versions!)

6. “What denomination are you affiliated with?”

7. “How many different activities can I sign my family up for in order to add to the insane schedule that we already have?”

8. “Does your pastor teach exegetically through the Scriptures?”

9. “Are there lots of crosses and pictures of Jesus in your church?”

10. “Are you guys pre-trib, mid-trib, post-trib, or partial trib?”

8 Reasons Some Churches Never Grow

The following article was written by Perry Noble.

 
1. The Vision Is Not Clear 

If people don’t know where a church is supposed to be going…then it will attempt to go everywhere and eventually wind up nowhere.  (Interesting experiment–ask people this coming Sunday at your church, “What is our vision” and see if people give you the same answers or different ones.)

2. The Focus Is on Trying to Please Everyone 

There is NO church on the planet that will make everyone happy every single week…and…according to the Scriptures that isn’t really supposed to be our obsession.  Too many times we become so concerned with offending people that we actually offend Jesus.

3. Passionless Leadership 

When a leader does what he/she does for a paycheck and not because its their passion…it’s over.  I’ve said at this site before…I want difference makers not paycheck takers.  AND…also…it is hard to be passionate about a place when a persons average stay at a church is two years or less.

4. Manufacturing Energy 

If a program is dead in a church…then it needs a funeral and the people need to move on.  Investing time, energy and money into something that is dead will not revive it.  Celebrate the fact that “that” program had its day…and then move on.  AND…quit trying to fire people up over events that you would not attend if you were not on staff.

5. Lack of Prayer 

Many times we work so hard putting our ideas together than we actually think there is no need for the supernatural power of God to be involved.  Prayer should not be the good luck charm that we stick at the beginning or the end of what we do…but rather it should be our constant desperation to see God do the undeniable among us.  Intense desperation often brings undeniable revelation!

6. Unwillingness to Take Risks 

When our focus becomes to play it safe rather than to do whatever it takes to reach people far from God…it’s over.  NOWHERE in the Scriptures did God ever ask anyone to do anything that didn’t involved an “oh crap” moment.  We’ve GOT to be willing to embrace the uncertain if we want to see the unbelievable.

7. Disobedience to the Scriptures

Matthew 28:18-20, Mark 16:15, Luke 24:48, John 20:21, Acts 1:8, II Corinthians 5:16-21, Luke 19:10…I could go on and on…but we MUST understand that Jesus didn’t come to earth, live here for 33 years years, give HIS life for us and then return back to heaven to intercede for us so that we could get in really little circles and talk about ourselves and condemn those who are not as good as us.  We are called to REACH PEOPLE FOR GOD–PERIOD!

8. Selfish Attitudes  

Matthew 20:28 says it all…and if we are going to be more like Jesus we’ve GOT to serve others rather than expecting the church to be our servant all of the time.  When a person (or group of people) refuse to embrace that a call to follow Jesus is a call to serve…then we’ve lost sight of who He is and eventually we will make being a Christian all about Jesus following/serving us rather than us taking up our cross and following Him!